Discovering the roots of my insanity

Or one of them ;)

I hadn't been feeling great the last few weeks. Sometimes I was moody and sometimes I just felt blah. And I just couldn't figure out why. But then I had a realization (maybe last night) that most of my time recently has been devoted to school, studying, wedding planning, trying to be a good fiancee, spending time with Stephan....dare I go on? Basically, I realized that I haven't been giving myself "me" time.

So last night, after spending the day writing a profile paper for my ELANG class while talking to Stephan on Skype (productivity levels were good for the both of us, surprisingly), I decided to do some pleasure reading. Being a student, I don't get to do much pleasure reading. School can zap the joy out of it. I selected Pride and Prejudice, one of my favorite books. I hadn't read it since I was eighteen. I thought I had the novel memorized, but after starting it, I realized I had forgotten a good deal of it! Now, I know the plot quite well, it was just some of the dialogues and scenes that had escaped me these many years. It was almost like I was reading it for the first time again.

I have made a goal. I am going to make time every night to read or do something for fun. Writing, attempting to crochet, things like that. I figure if I give myself a little bit of me time, I will be a much more pleasant person to spend time with.

Oh and by the way, Stephan and I have created our wedding website. Feel free to look at it:

Wedding Website

Being engaged...

I've been engaged for almost three months, and today I decided to make a list of reasons why I like being engaged. Most people talk about how much they hate it. While I do have my frustrations with it, why not look at the bright side of things?

(1) I do not feel obligated to flirt with guys. I hated flirting--I always made a fool of myself. Now I don't have to worry about it because I only have to "flirt" with one guy now...hee hee hee.

(2) I have the perfect excuse for refusing dates. Of course, no one has tried to ask me out (thank heavens). Here at BYU, we're conditioned to look at the left hand, so that's most likely why no one has even tried. Oh, how I love my ring :)

(3) I can plan my dream wedding.

(4) Always knowing that I will be doing something with Stephan.

(5) Knowing that I'll soon be with Stephan for eternity :)

(6) Not having to deal with dating drama anymore. I do not miss dating around AT ALL. There were some girls at the pre-marital class I went to who sort of lamented not dating around anymore. I think they're crazy.


That's all I can think of for now.

75 more days to go...wow.

birth control...my reasons

You know, there is not anything in Church policy that says that women cannot use birth control. Yet, you meet so many Church members who think that once you're married, it's time to start popping out babies and there is no reason to wait. 

The official Church stance is that family planning is between the couple and the Lord. Stephan and I have talked about it, and we both feel like it's okay for us to wait a short time.

I have officially been on birth control for a week now. No evil side effects so far. Well, I have had a few "off" days with regards to my mood, but other than that, I've been fine. There has been the increased hunger, but I have just caught that and I am getting a handle on it so I can still fit into my wedding dress!

I have had a few people seem shocked when I've told them that Stephan and I are waiting until he's finished with school to start a family. One woman said: "My husband is in school but that didn't stop us from having kids." And a friend (unmarried) gasped and asked: "Why?!" I also have a certain relative (who shall remain anonymous) who keeps betting that I'm going to get pregnant on my wedding night. Of course, this relative may very well be joking around (you never know with this one). 

I have my reasons for birth control. This list is in no particular order:

(1) Avoidance of debt. Our Church leaders have counseled us to stay out of debt as much as we reasonably can. We are going to be poor as it is when we get married, with him still being in school. We are both going to be working, but that's mainly so we don't starve to death or go into debt. We both want to be in a stage in life where we can have kids without worrying about debt, and that will be when he's finished with school and has a full-time job.

(2) Avoiding guilt. If we had a baby right away, one of two scenarios may occur: I would have to quit working to stay at home with baby while Stephan tries to go to school and provide. I would feel so guilty if that were the case. The other scenario is that I continue working, but I would have to leave baby with someone and I would feel guilty because *I* want to be the one taking care of my own baby. If we wait until Stephan is done with school and has a full-time job that pays pretty well (and since he's getting a degree in Math with a minor in Computer Science, he should be irresistible to employers), I can stay at home with baby guilt-free. 

(3) We will be better parents. If neither of us is in school, worrying about studying and tests, we can devote more time and energy to our children. I feel like we will be better parents to our children if we are both finished with our education. Plus, we will have been married for a little while, so we know each other better :)

(4) Prevention/Treatment of Endometriosis. Endometriosis plagues my mother's family. My mom had it. My grandmother had it. My one biological aunt had it. A bunch of my mom's cousins have had it. And I have been exhibiting symptoms of it. In its advanced stages, Endometriosis can cause infertility and increase the risk of miscarriage. My mom was not diagnosed until she was in the advanced stages, so she had to have multiple surgeries. She got four kids, but she had to fight hard to get pregnant the first time. I don't want to go through what she did. Birth control pills have been proven to prevent and treat endometriosis. So, in a matter of speaking, birth control pills will make me more fertile. 

(5) Making sure my time of the month does not happen on my wedding day. Can you imagine how awkward it would be to be menstruating on your wedding day? Ugh. With birth control pills, I can control when that happens. That's empowering. 

It's not like we're waiting five years to have kids. No way. I'm not telling you the exact length of time we're waiting, but we are not waiting a terribly long time. But I'll tell you this: Stephan does not have much longer in school. We both want kids. If you know me well enough, you know that I LOVE babies. I'm serious--if I see a baby, I automatically coo over it. My mom will swear that I was born with maternal instincts because I've been doting on babies since I became mobile. I also took very good care of my dolls. And when Scott was born, I wasn't jealous of him. I was jealous that he was my mom's baby and not mine. I wanted to be his mom! But according to my mom, I was a good helper. And at family gatherings, I'm always holding someone's baby.

Plus, Stephan thinks I'm so cute when I interact with the little ones. Ha ha. 

And if Heavenly Father decides that we have to have a baby, it will happen (birth control occasionally fails, you know). If that's the case, Heavenly Father will help us as long as we are faithful.

For those of you who have been able to balance kids and school: my hat goes off to you. You have my respect. Please know that I am not disparaging you in any way. Like I said, it was between you and the Lord. Kudos to you for heeding the promptings of the Spirit!

Smiles and good feelings all around :)

This just in: Stephan and Laura will not be homeless upon marriage

As you can tell by the heading, we have an apartment!

Here's the story:

I've been checking craigslist for apartments for a while. Most of the listings were made by people who wanted to sell their contracts right away. So, I decided that we probably wouldn't get an apartment until just before the big day.

I was wrong.

Last week, I found a listing for an apartment that was available August 7. One good-sized bedroom and one bathroom. Walk-in closet. Decently sized living room. Small kitchen with a refrigerator and stove. A laundry room with washer/dryer hookups, but there are also coin-op machines in the building. The rent is reasonable, and the only utilities the tenant has to pay for are gas and electricity. 

So, I e-mailed the manager. I did not hear from her for a few days, so I thought that perhaps it was already taken. Not so. She e-mailed me Memorial Day and gave me information. I asked her more questions, and inquired about the possibility of seeing the apartment. She gave me her office hours and Stephan and I planned accordingly.

When we went to the apartment, we thought we would merely see the apartment, apply for it, and hope for the best. We did see the apartment and we did sign an application. But we also ended up paying a deposit on it, basically meaning that the apartment was ours!

So yeah, we're excited. We have a place to live! Now we have to furnish it. But we will worry about that when it gets closer to the move-in date. Stephan will move in on August 7 and we will gradually get our stuff moved in.

Scott is going on a mission!

Today, Scott got his mission call. Well, technically it came on Saturday, but my parents and our brother Paul were in Dallas for the weekend. But my dad had Scott and me on one line and Paul had our brother Craig on his phone. Dad read Scott's mission call over speaker phone. For those who don't know, Scott is doing a six-week long language intensive program at the University of Utah for ROTC.

Scott has been called to serve in the Brazil Sao Paolo East Mission. He is to report to the Brazil MTC on September 23, 2009, where he will learn the Portuguese language. This means he can come to my wedding! And this means we may be able to receive our endowments at the same time. What we would like to have happen is for me to receive my endowments a week before the wedding and Scott to receive them with me. I know it's very common for brides to get theirs the day before, but I REALLY don't want to do that. I want to have enough time between getting my endowments and getting sealed to really be able to take it all in. And I'm graduating the day before the wedding, so getting my endowments the day before would be impossible.

Scott is the odd man out. He's the first in our immediate family to not go somewhere in Asia. My dad went to Japan, Paul went to Australia (Japanese-speaking), and Craig went to the Philippines. He is not learning an Asian language, he is learning a romance language. He did take French in high school, so that will probably help him in learning Portuguese. Come to think of it, Scott is the first in the entire family to go to Brazil. Paul and Craig both reported to the Provo MTC in June. Scott is reporting to the Brazil MTC in September. And chances are that Scott and I will receive our endowments in one of the Utah temples whereas Paul and Craig received their endowments in the Houston Temple.

But all three brothers will have gone to very hot and humid missions. I guess living in Houston has prepared them for that. I was so hoping that Scott would get called to a very cold mission, because of his intense disliking for the winter, especially after living in Idaho and Utah. 

So yeah, we're all very excited for Scott. We're proud of the preparations he has made to be able to serve. And I feel old. My baby brother is going on a mission!

Check it out, two days since I posted

I said I needed to change my posting habits, didn't I?

Let's see...

Classes yesterday. I have a test I need to prepare for next week...oh joy. Thankfully I have a long weekend to prepare for that. Editing stuff I need to do. I'm glad it's only two classes. I went to the temple with Jessica last night to do baptisms. It was a wonderful experience, as always. But this time, there was hardly anyone there so we didn't have a long wait. 

Then today...

I took my first birth control pill today. I had a slightly upset stomach, but nothing to be alarmed about. It settled down whenever I drank some water. And after a while, it stopped. If that's the extent of the negative side effects I ever have, I'll be very happy. But my mom didn't have any of the bad side effects when she took them; she had all the GOOD ones, like the clearer skin. Medically speaking, I'm very much like my mom, so I really hope I'm like her in my response to birth control. 

I ran some errands on campus--mailing a bill because I didn't have any stamps. I ran into a member from my home ward--a man who was the first counselor in the bishopric when my dad was first bishop. He and his son were doing a father-son BYU basketball camp. It was quite surprising to hear my name called out randomly in the Wilkinson Center. 

After that, I went to the Creamery for some staples like milk and bread. Then I went home, ate lunch, and what-not. Stephan came over and we spent a lovely day together. We went for a walk and ended up in Kiwanis Park where we played on the playground. Oh, how I love swings. We climbed a very interesting jungle gym. It was fun. Then we went back to the apartment because Stephan was thirsty. We hung out for a while and then got some Chinese food. And then we checked out Bed, Bath, and Beyond for possible things to register for. We're most likely going to register there and at Target. Not too expensive and they both have some really good stuff. We're thinking of decorating our future abode in more or less an Asian style since we both LOVE Asian stuff--especially Japanese. 

It was a very good day/night. 

No mission call for Scott yet, I suppose. I haven't heard anything yet. My family promised to get me on speaker phone when they were going to read it off. 

May 21

It seems like I only update about once a week. Maybe I should change that.

School's pretty good. I got a 49/50 on an editing assignment. I was pretty excited about it. I just applied for a job at Wasatch Elementary. It's a library job, and has good pay. I actually REALLY hope I get it, and I have a feeling that I am going to get it. I hope I'm right :) It took me a lot of courage to go into the school to give them my resume and cover letter...lame, I know. Stephan went in with me, and all I had to do was give the stuff to the receptionist. All that worry for nothing.

Last Saturday, Stephan and I went up to Sandy so I could show him Le Jardin. He was pretty taken aback by it at first. You see, he's grown up in Utah, where the norm is to have wedding receptions in the cultural hall or at someone's house. Don't worry, he loves the place. It just took some getting used to. We talked to the woman in charge of Le Jardin about our arrangements, and found out there was more we needed to do than I had anticipated. We also found out that we would have to alter the time our reception was to end. We have the place reserved from 12-4, and originally we were planning on having the reception from 1-4. Well, we found out that the reception has to be completely done and cleaned up because there is another reception at 5. Oy. So, the reception is probably going to be from 1-3 or so. And let me tell you, there is a lot more time coordination I thought. I have to tell them when we're cutting the cake, so they can set up for a dance. Stephan really wanted to have a first dance, I didn't. But I conceded since he hasn't asked for much. The plan is for us to have our first dance, and then to leave the floor open for dancing if people want. We'll have music playing. And folks, be prepared for a lot of Josh Groban, Michael Buble, Beatles, Carpenters, etc. That's the great thing about it being your own wedding--you can choose whatever music you want...ha ha ha.

So, after we left Le Jardin, I was basically freaking out because of all the extra planning that needed to be done. I was also dehydrated at this point, so I was probably really overreacting. Stephan then decided to pull over at the mall in Sandy so we could find something cool for me to drink and some food for him. We got juliuses. Strawberry lemonade ones. Mmmm. I was a happy person after I got something to drink and was able to cool off. We hung out at the mall for a while. We went in a few stores. We ended up in Bath and Body Works at one point. I found the fragrance that I normally use and love (Japanese Cherry Blossom). Well, we came to find out that that particular fragrance was labeled under "The Sexys". No wonder Stephan likes it so much...HAH! I also got a new fragrance. It was a citrusy one. It smells SOO good, and Stephan likes it too. Hee hee.

After that, we went and got dinner and then went to his house for a little while. We talked over planning stuff with his parents. My head was on straight at that point.

So yeah, wedding planning can lead to insanity. I'm only glad that I have less than three months of this left. I'm also glad that I'm not planning a super elaborate wedding.