It's been a while

Hi...does anyone still read this?

As you can see, it's been a while since I last updated. I haven't had much to say, mainly because last month was a pretty bad month for us. It goes without saying that being laid off the first Monday of the month was not such a great start. Then midterms happened and Stephan was very busy with that. I also started watching a neighbor's four-year-old son a few times a week (with pay), which means going over at 6:30 right as she leaves for work. Thankfully, he's a pretty easy kid to watch. And he likes Star Wars.

And there were plenty of emotions. And arguments to go with them. Oh joy.

But don't worry, we're doing fine now. Stephan doesn't have anymore tests for now, just homework. And he has to register for next semester's classes. I'm still looking for work, until further notice. Please do me a favor and don't ask me how the job hunt is every time you see me. Thank you.

I don't really have much else to say. Just thought I'd update.

Later.

10/15

The last three weeks have been pretty rough around here. School has gotten crazier for Stephan (are midterms here already?) and he's stressed about being the main breadwinner all over again and trying to do well in school at the same time. It's really hard for me to watch, and I'm doing what I can to help him out.

I *sort of* have a job. Last Friday, I decided to go see one of the women I visit-teach, partly to set up an appointment. We got to talking, and my layoff came up and she asked if I would like to baby-sit her son while I'm looking for another job. She's divorced and obviously has to work, so she really wants good childcare for her little boy. I actually watched him today, and he's a fun kid. The pay isn't very much, but every little bit counts. 

And I'm starting a homemaking blog. I'll provide more details another time :)

Update

I am actually doing much better now. Sure, I wish that I hadn't lost my job, but what's done is done and it is time to move on. How did I get to this point so quickly? I let myself mourn instead of wasting energy on trying *not* to mourn, if that makes sense. 

I also have come to a possible conclusion as to why I lost my job, but I will not share it here on such a public medium ;) However, if I am asked personally, I will give my answer. I will say here that it was through no fault of my own.

In all honesty, I have no regrets about this job. I know that I was supposed to work there and that Heavenly Father guided me to it. I know He has a plan for me, even though I have no clue what it is right now. And even though I have no idea how we are going to make ends meet with just Stephan's income, I know that we will be taken care of. Heavenly Father will not abandon us; he hasn't yet. 

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. We really appreciate it! Please keep them coming, because I don't know how long I will be unemployed and I know that there will be discouraging times ahead of us. 

Unemployed...AGAIN!

About an hour after arriving at work, my supervisor asked me to meet him in the conference room. I did, and he was in there with one of the company owners. I was told that they had evaluated my position and that I was no longer needed. It sounds like they couldn't afford to keep me on. So, my supervisor then took me back to my desk so I could gather everything, he wished me the best, and that was the end.

It's easy for people to say, "Look for another job!" Do you have any idea how long it took me to get this job? I had been out of college for almost a year before I found it. Now I have to start ALL OVER AGAIN. So now we have to live on Stephan's income, which really stinks because he is only working 14-15 hours a week. This really sucks. 

Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn't work and that I should do what all good Mormon women should do: stay at home and pop out babies. 

But you were born in Japan...

For those of you who don't know, I was born in Japan and lived there until I was eighteen months old.

I also have a desire to travel to different countries. I want to visit Japan, for obvious reasons. France is another country I long to visit, so I can practice my French. If I don't make it to France, then Quebec would suit me fine. Then there's England, Scotland, Israel, and others.

But if I say anything in conversation about wanting to visit these countries, or even about wanting to travel in general, people who know I was born abroad will almost always say:

"But you were born in Japan!"

As if that exempts me from ever traveling outside of this country again, or even wanting to. In many cases, people somehow think I'm culturally superior to the average American because of it.

I talked about this with Stephan, and he gave me a possible reason for why people will remind me of my foreign birth when I express my desire to travel. His theory is that these people want me to feel that because I was born in Japan, I am equal to those who are well-traveled, therefore I really have no right to want to travel.

The reason I want to travel is because in some ways, I feel cheated because it seems like I did all of my world traveling before I could even form a complete sentence. I have absolutely no memory of living in Japan, and yet I'm supposed to be satisfied with the mere fact that I did.

I love that little contradiction.

I really hope this post doesn't sound whiny. That is not my intent. I just wanted to point out the contradiction I've been dealing with for a long, long time.

Getting older can be a good thing...

A little while ago, we got a check from our insurance company. Cool, we thought, but what for?

Stephan called our insurance company today, and we found out that because he is now 23, the premium for the coverage he has for his scooter has gone down. By a lot. We're saving about 300 big ones a year! The check they sent was a refund. 

Now, if they would do it for our health insurance.... ;)

The Stephan and Laura Story: Part II

It took a while for our first date to happen. Sometimes I wondered if it would ever happen. I think it took about five weeks for it to happen, after I decided that I would meet him. 

I knew very little about Stephan going into all of this. Well, I knew a lot more about him than he did about me, which isn't saying much. I knew (from what Jenny and Andrew had told me) that he apparently looked like he could be my brother, was tall, played video games, was recently home from his mission, and he had a motorcycle. So from all this, I imagined a shy, dark-haired, dark-eyed, tall, skinny nerdy guy with glasses who wore a leather jacket.

Boy, was I dead on.

The date finally happened on November 8, 2008. It wound up being a double date with Jenny and Andrew (not the Andrew I dated, mind you), because Stephan had been too shy to call me. I didn't really have high hopes at this point, but for some reason, I was very anxious about my appearance that night. I think I changed clothes three times, and fussed with my hair too much.

Andrew and Stephan were late, but we did manage to get to the De Jong concert hall on time (we went to a BYU Men's and Women's Chorus concert). Before the concert started, I made some conversation with Stephan. I found out that he was born in Logan, was studying Math at UVU, had served a mission in Everett, Washington, and had been back for a year. From that, I assumed that he was about a year older than me.

Then, right as the concert was starting, something in me said, "Guess what? You're marrying this guy!" I was confused, and thought, "What?! I barely know him!" I shrugged it off and went on with the evening.

After the concert, we went in search of ice cream. That was a fun trip because in Provo, just about every place closes at nine. I tried to make more conversation with Stephan, but he wasn't really being conversational, which annoyed me.

We finally found a gelato place on Center Street that was open after nine. We had to park a little far away and walk there. While walking to Maestro's (the gelato place), I think the subject of birthdays came up. His was July 30.

"Oh," I said. "you're 22 then!"

"Actually," he said. "I'm 21." This meant he was younger than me, but not by much.

I tried to do the math. He had been home from his mission a year, and yet he was only 21? Huh?

He then told me that he had come on an honorable medical release for depression, but that he was fine now.

"I like seeing the look on people's faces when they try to figure out the math," he added.

I was thinking, "Oh great, not another Andrew." My opinions on early returned missionaries would drastically change as my relationship with Stephan became serious. In fact, my opinions on missionary service in general.

By the end of the date, I had decided that I never wanted to see Stephan again because he OBVIOUSLY wasn't interested in me, since he didn't speak to me very much. But to my surprise, he asked for my phone number when the date ended. I gave it to him, thinking that he would be too chicken to ever call me.

Jenny and I went inside, where Amy and Jessica were, and they proceeded to ask about the date. I basically said that I didn't like him, didn't want to go on another date with him, and that I was sure he would never call back. Of course, they teased me about it, because Jenny went on about how we were so right for each other and all that.

I went about the next several days, convinced that Stephan would never call and that I didn't like him at all. But just over a week after the date, I was checking my phone as I was leaving orchestra and noticed that I had a voicemail, so I called it.

"Hi Laura, this is Stephan...." said a nervous, but familiar voice in the voicemail.

My thoughts were, "NOOOO!!! He was supposed to chicken out! Maybe he won't leave his number..."

He left his number in the message. This meant I had no excuse to NOT call him back. But I was determined not to.