I haven't been updating the blog much lately, and yet I get annoyed when one of my friends hasn't updated theirs in a timely manner. How hypocritical of me.
The reason I haven't been writing much lately is because I haven't had much to say. Is anyone really that interested in my life? Well, considering the hits I get, I guess so.
First off, I'm excited for spring to come. This means I can take Aiden outside, and he spends less time in front of the TV. I try to keep him from watching too much TV in the first place, but sometimes, it's inevitable. I'm also excited because Stephan will be able to ride his scooter again. This is exciting because (a) we'll save money on gas and (b) I won't have to drag Aiden out of bed at 7:30 to take Stephan to school.
Stephan had spring break last week. We went to the temple on Wednesday, for the first time in too long. We hadn't gone in a long time because I had a negative experience the last time we went, and it left me traumatized. I think we went on a day when the bad temple workers were on duty. Yes folks, they do exist, though thankfully in very small numbers. But this last time was wonderful, and I'm sorry we went so long without going. We are going to attend more often.
Thursday and Friday, we watched Aiden. Stephan played Wii with him, I took him to the playground, etc. The playground at our complex is a great place to socialize, I found out. Friday night, we went to an Orchestra at Temple Square concert in Salt Lake. Stephan planned the date himself :)
I'm convinced that Stephan is going to make a better parent than me. He's better at telling Aiden "no" than I am. Especially when it comes to food. I swear, all Aiden wants to eat is our granola bars.
My brother-in-law Brent is coming home from his mission in a week. My in-laws are in the Czech Republic now, spending time with him before his mission is finished. We'll get to see him next Monday--it will the the THIRD time I've seen him in my life. Stephan and I started dating exclusively right as Brent was getting ready to report to the MTC. In fact, the first time I met Brent was at his farewell. He more or less insisted on approving of me before he left. As if he has any authority. Amusingly, we were engaged a few weeks before he flew to Prague.
Speaking of the Czech Republic, I found out that kolaches originated there. For those who aren't in the know, kolaches are a pastry traditionally filled with fruit, and I like them better than doughnuts. They are very popular in Texas because there is a Czech community there, and Texan kolaches can also be filled with sausage, eggs, cheese, and other savory foods. Some Texans think that the sausage ones are the original, but apparently not. I wonder if my brother-in-law has heard of them. I found recipes online for kolaches, and I want to try them out. Yes, from scratch. I like cooking things from scratch. It's better for you. And cheaper.
That's all for now.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I will follow God's plan for me...
I had just finished my first week at BYU when I first the saying "Know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!" And it has never completely left my thoughts ever since.
Of course, a lot of my college plans seemed to coincide with what God had in mind for me. I started out as an English Literature major with the intent to minor in Editing, but then I changed to English Language my junior year, still minoring in Editing. I didn't want to spend years and years in school, and that worked out. I also didn't want to get married until I was at least 21 and mostly done with school--I got married at age 22, the day after I graduated. Perfect.
But other things have not gone according to plan. There was Andrew--I wanted things to work out with him, but God told me that there was someone a million times better for me out there. I couldn't believe it at the time, but six weeks after ending things with him, I met Stephan. At that time, I thought that first date with Stephan would be the last because I *did not* like him. Divine intervention took place, and now I thank God everyday that I changed my mind.
Then there has been my job situation. My plan was to have a job as soon as possible so I could put Stephan through school. It's the good Mormon wife thing to do after all. That obviously did not work the way I wanted it to. I wanted to work, mainly so I could put my degree to some kind of use, and so we could have financial security. Aren't we all counseled to be as financially secure as possible, after all?
During my time of unemployment, I realized that perhaps the reason I wasn't getting a job as soon as I (and our mothers *ahem*) wanted was that I needed the time to focus on other things, like being a good homemaker. Knowing me, it would have been a nightmare trying to figure out how to keep a household running and work at the same time in the beginning. I was also able to do some freelance jobs here and there, which helped a little bit.
Almost a year after I graduated, I finally got a stable job. The freelance jobs I had, as well as my editing minor, helped me get that job. Finally, we could have some semblance of financial security. We wouldn't have to worry where my next paycheck was coming from! And Stephan could focus more on doing well in school.
Then three months later, out of the blue, I got laid off. Bam.
I couldn't understand it. Why would I get a job that let me use my skills, only to lose it a short time later? Stephan gave me a Priesthood blessing after I got laid off, and the blessing promised that I would have a job soon, and that I would enjoy it.
A few days later, I stopped by a visiting teachee's apartment so I could schedule an appointment with her. We got to chatting, and my layoff came up. She asked me if I wanted to watch her son a few times a week for pay while I was looking for another job. Apparently, she wasn't all too pleased with her then baby-sitter, and she also wanted someone close by. I accepted, thinking this would be a temporary thing until something better came along. That blessing could not have been implying watching Aiden, did it?
Five months later, I'm still watching Aiden. There have been jobs that have come up that I could have applied for, with better pay. Tempting, considering how there have been months where the number on our bank balance scared us. It would have made perfect sense for me to get a better paying job!
And yet, I still keep getting the feeling to stay with Aiden. There was one job that I was especially tempted to apply for--a part-time editing job that paid better than my old job. I prayed about it, and got the feeling to compare the benefits of getting a new job and staying with Aiden. This was one of those difficult "good and better" decisions. So I made a list, and the benefits of staying with Aiden were greater in number than the benefits of getting another job.
I also recently learned that my willingness to watch Aiden was also an answer to Misti's (the mom) prayers. There was some drama that had happened with her previous baby-sitter; nothing too serious, just the girl overreacting when Aiden's dad came to pick him up. She probably thought he was one of those ex-husbands you hear about on the news (I've met him, and he is not). Because of this, some disagreements ensued, and no one was happy. Misti decided she needed a new baby-sitter: someone who wasn't a teenager and who lived close by.
Since I've started watching Aiden, she and his dad have not argued about him. Her ex-husband is happy knowing that Aiden was being watched by someone (a) married, (b) with a college degree, and (c) over the age of 18. Apparently all of this implies maturity ;)
Stephan has also become more comfortable around little kids since I've been baby-sitting Aiden. For those who don't know, Stephan has been uncomfortable around small children ever since he accidentally dropped his sister when she bit him on the chest (hard). Well now, Stephan loves playing video games with Aiden, and he is quite anxious for us to start having kids.
I know some people might be thinking, "Well *I* have to work! You're just lucky!" The Lord's plan is different for everyone, with the same goal in mind: to draw closer to Him. I confess, I often feel guilty that I stay home while my husband busts his tail off going to school and going to work. And there have been many months where I wonder if we're going to survive, and somehow, we do. I also feel guilty because I know women who want nothing more than to stay home, but circumstances are such that they cannot. Stupid economy.
The title of my post is part of a song that children learn in my church. It's called "I Will Follow God's Plan." The lyric that is in the title has been running in my head since I started brainstorming this post. Here's the actual song:
My life is a gift; my life has a plan.
My life has a purpose; in heav’n it began.
My choice was to come to this lovely home on earth
And seek for God’s light to direct me from birth.
I will follow God’s plan for me,
Holding fast to his word and his love.
I will work, and I will pray;
I will always walk in his way.
Then I will be happy on earth
And in my home above.
I often struggle with doing God's will, especially when it isn't what I want to do. But I have to remember that he knows me infinitely better than I know myself. And I know that when I have followed promptings he has given me, that I have been a lot happier in the long run than if I had just done what I wanted to in the first place. I know that God loves each and every one of us, and he has a plan for us all, however different each individual's plan may be. But like I said, the ultimate goal is for all of us to gain eternal happiness and to return back to him.
Of course, a lot of my college plans seemed to coincide with what God had in mind for me. I started out as an English Literature major with the intent to minor in Editing, but then I changed to English Language my junior year, still minoring in Editing. I didn't want to spend years and years in school, and that worked out. I also didn't want to get married until I was at least 21 and mostly done with school--I got married at age 22, the day after I graduated. Perfect.
But other things have not gone according to plan. There was Andrew--I wanted things to work out with him, but God told me that there was someone a million times better for me out there. I couldn't believe it at the time, but six weeks after ending things with him, I met Stephan. At that time, I thought that first date with Stephan would be the last because I *did not* like him. Divine intervention took place, and now I thank God everyday that I changed my mind.
Then there has been my job situation. My plan was to have a job as soon as possible so I could put Stephan through school. It's the good Mormon wife thing to do after all. That obviously did not work the way I wanted it to. I wanted to work, mainly so I could put my degree to some kind of use, and so we could have financial security. Aren't we all counseled to be as financially secure as possible, after all?
During my time of unemployment, I realized that perhaps the reason I wasn't getting a job as soon as I (and our mothers *ahem*) wanted was that I needed the time to focus on other things, like being a good homemaker. Knowing me, it would have been a nightmare trying to figure out how to keep a household running and work at the same time in the beginning. I was also able to do some freelance jobs here and there, which helped a little bit.
Almost a year after I graduated, I finally got a stable job. The freelance jobs I had, as well as my editing minor, helped me get that job. Finally, we could have some semblance of financial security. We wouldn't have to worry where my next paycheck was coming from! And Stephan could focus more on doing well in school.
Then three months later, out of the blue, I got laid off. Bam.
I couldn't understand it. Why would I get a job that let me use my skills, only to lose it a short time later? Stephan gave me a Priesthood blessing after I got laid off, and the blessing promised that I would have a job soon, and that I would enjoy it.
A few days later, I stopped by a visiting teachee's apartment so I could schedule an appointment with her. We got to chatting, and my layoff came up. She asked me if I wanted to watch her son a few times a week for pay while I was looking for another job. Apparently, she wasn't all too pleased with her then baby-sitter, and she also wanted someone close by. I accepted, thinking this would be a temporary thing until something better came along. That blessing could not have been implying watching Aiden, did it?
Five months later, I'm still watching Aiden. There have been jobs that have come up that I could have applied for, with better pay. Tempting, considering how there have been months where the number on our bank balance scared us. It would have made perfect sense for me to get a better paying job!
And yet, I still keep getting the feeling to stay with Aiden. There was one job that I was especially tempted to apply for--a part-time editing job that paid better than my old job. I prayed about it, and got the feeling to compare the benefits of getting a new job and staying with Aiden. This was one of those difficult "good and better" decisions. So I made a list, and the benefits of staying with Aiden were greater in number than the benefits of getting another job.
I also recently learned that my willingness to watch Aiden was also an answer to Misti's (the mom) prayers. There was some drama that had happened with her previous baby-sitter; nothing too serious, just the girl overreacting when Aiden's dad came to pick him up. She probably thought he was one of those ex-husbands you hear about on the news (I've met him, and he is not). Because of this, some disagreements ensued, and no one was happy. Misti decided she needed a new baby-sitter: someone who wasn't a teenager and who lived close by.
Since I've started watching Aiden, she and his dad have not argued about him. Her ex-husband is happy knowing that Aiden was being watched by someone (a) married, (b) with a college degree, and (c) over the age of 18. Apparently all of this implies maturity ;)
Stephan has also become more comfortable around little kids since I've been baby-sitting Aiden. For those who don't know, Stephan has been uncomfortable around small children ever since he accidentally dropped his sister when she bit him on the chest (hard). Well now, Stephan loves playing video games with Aiden, and he is quite anxious for us to start having kids.
I know some people might be thinking, "Well *I* have to work! You're just lucky!" The Lord's plan is different for everyone, with the same goal in mind: to draw closer to Him. I confess, I often feel guilty that I stay home while my husband busts his tail off going to school and going to work. And there have been many months where I wonder if we're going to survive, and somehow, we do. I also feel guilty because I know women who want nothing more than to stay home, but circumstances are such that they cannot. Stupid economy.
The title of my post is part of a song that children learn in my church. It's called "I Will Follow God's Plan." The lyric that is in the title has been running in my head since I started brainstorming this post. Here's the actual song:
My life is a gift; my life has a plan.
My life has a purpose; in heav’n it began.
My choice was to come to this lovely home on earth
And seek for God’s light to direct me from birth.
I will follow God’s plan for me,
Holding fast to his word and his love.
I will work, and I will pray;
I will always walk in his way.
Then I will be happy on earth
And in my home above.
I often struggle with doing God's will, especially when it isn't what I want to do. But I have to remember that he knows me infinitely better than I know myself. And I know that when I have followed promptings he has given me, that I have been a lot happier in the long run than if I had just done what I wanted to in the first place. I know that God loves each and every one of us, and he has a plan for us all, however different each individual's plan may be. But like I said, the ultimate goal is for all of us to gain eternal happiness and to return back to him.
 |
| And how can you want to leave such a cutie? At least when he's good... |
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Our Story Part 3
You can get parts one and two here
I continued walking home after getting Stephan's voicemail, telling myself that I WOULD NOT call him. When I got back to my apartment, Jenny (the roommate who set us up) was there. "Guess who left a message on my phone?" I said.
"Stephan?" she said.
"Yeah, but I don't want to call him back," I said.
She was surprised, "Why not?!"
"I don't like him!" was my excuse.
The next day, I chatted with some people about it, and one asked, "Well, what was the worst thing you found out about Stephan?"
I thought about it, and said, "He doesn't talk very much."
"Well," he said. "if that's the worst thing about him, then he deserves a phone call!"
With that, I called him back, and I could tell that he was very happy to hear from me. We had a very pleasant conversation (to my great surprise), and he asked if he could see me again sometime. I answered in the affirmative.
Our next date wasn't until the week before finals. That day, there was a big snowstorm. And I mean big. Stephan had only recently gotten his driver's license and didn't have snow-driving experience. To tell a long story short, I met my father-in-law on the second date.
Thankfully, my father-in-law didn't come with us on the date itself--I would have never given Stephan another chance after that. Besides the "chauffeur" it was a good date. We had lunch at Brick Oven, in case you are wondering. He talked A LOT on this date. After lunch, his dad drove us back to my apartment complex, and Stephan walked me to my door. Since it was just before Christmas break and I was going home for a few weeks, he asked me for my e-mail address. It must have been divine intervention, because I gave him mine. When I got inside, my roommates were sitting at the kitchen table, and they told me I was glowing (I denied this of course).
We e-mailed a bit over the break, and on my birthday, he sent me a "Merry Christmas" e-mail in the morning (I thought he forgot my birthday, so I reminded him) and then in the evening, he sent me a "Happy Birthday" e-mail along with a picture of a Star Wars birthday cake. I later found out that he remembered me telling him how my family celebrated my birthday, and he used that to time the e-mails. Brilliant.
After I got back from Houston, we were still e-mailing, and one evening, he directly told me that he wanted to ask me out again, but didn't know what to do. He asked me what I liked and disliked, and when I was available. I appreciated his honesty, and wrote him back with the information he wanted. With that information, he planned our next date...
To be continued...
I continued walking home after getting Stephan's voicemail, telling myself that I WOULD NOT call him. When I got back to my apartment, Jenny (the roommate who set us up) was there. "Guess who left a message on my phone?" I said.
"Stephan?" she said.
"Yeah, but I don't want to call him back," I said.
She was surprised, "Why not?!"
"I don't like him!" was my excuse.
The next day, I chatted with some people about it, and one asked, "Well, what was the worst thing you found out about Stephan?"
I thought about it, and said, "He doesn't talk very much."
"Well," he said. "if that's the worst thing about him, then he deserves a phone call!"
With that, I called him back, and I could tell that he was very happy to hear from me. We had a very pleasant conversation (to my great surprise), and he asked if he could see me again sometime. I answered in the affirmative.
Our next date wasn't until the week before finals. That day, there was a big snowstorm. And I mean big. Stephan had only recently gotten his driver's license and didn't have snow-driving experience. To tell a long story short, I met my father-in-law on the second date.
Thankfully, my father-in-law didn't come with us on the date itself--I would have never given Stephan another chance after that. Besides the "chauffeur" it was a good date. We had lunch at Brick Oven, in case you are wondering. He talked A LOT on this date. After lunch, his dad drove us back to my apartment complex, and Stephan walked me to my door. Since it was just before Christmas break and I was going home for a few weeks, he asked me for my e-mail address. It must have been divine intervention, because I gave him mine. When I got inside, my roommates were sitting at the kitchen table, and they told me I was glowing (I denied this of course).
We e-mailed a bit over the break, and on my birthday, he sent me a "Merry Christmas" e-mail in the morning (I thought he forgot my birthday, so I reminded him) and then in the evening, he sent me a "Happy Birthday" e-mail along with a picture of a Star Wars birthday cake. I later found out that he remembered me telling him how my family celebrated my birthday, and he used that to time the e-mails. Brilliant.
After I got back from Houston, we were still e-mailing, and one evening, he directly told me that he wanted to ask me out again, but didn't know what to do. He asked me what I liked and disliked, and when I was available. I appreciated his honesty, and wrote him back with the information he wanted. With that information, he planned our next date...
To be continued...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Day 30: A Dream for the Future
Doesn't this kind of go along with the last post? Well, I guess this is the distant future.
In less than a year, Stephan will graduate, and while that isn't very far from now, it sometimes seems like it is.
I dream of a time when Stephan gets a good job in the computer programming field--a good job meaning a job he enjoys and that pays well. Then we can actually start SAVING money! Like I said before, the thought of having money in a savings account excites me. Yes, I'm a nerd.
I also dream of being a writer--having something published and possibly be a bestseller. Yes, in my dreams, but hey, this post is all about my dreams ;)
I also dream of having a clean house all the time, like that's ever going to happen. Then again, my mom somehow accomplishes this. But she doesn't have kids at home anymore, so it's a lot easier to do.
Oh yeah, I also dream of having a house of our own.
And in this dream, I also have kids. Hopefully I don't have the "Kimball Curse" (endometriosis) which would make having these kids difficult. We would have an even number of boys to girls, but knowing us, we'll probably have mostly boys.
That's the end of this series. I hope y'all have enjoyed it :)
In less than a year, Stephan will graduate, and while that isn't very far from now, it sometimes seems like it is.
I dream of a time when Stephan gets a good job in the computer programming field--a good job meaning a job he enjoys and that pays well. Then we can actually start SAVING money! Like I said before, the thought of having money in a savings account excites me. Yes, I'm a nerd.
I also dream of being a writer--having something published and possibly be a bestseller. Yes, in my dreams, but hey, this post is all about my dreams ;)
I also dream of having a clean house all the time, like that's ever going to happen. Then again, my mom somehow accomplishes this. But she doesn't have kids at home anymore, so it's a lot easier to do.
Oh yeah, I also dream of having a house of our own.
And in this dream, I also have kids. Hopefully I don't have the "Kimball Curse" (endometriosis) which would make having these kids difficult. We would have an even number of boys to girls, but knowing us, we'll probably have mostly boys.
That's the end of this series. I hope y'all have enjoyed it :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Day 29: Hopes, Dreams, Plans for 365 days
These are some things I would like to have happen within the next year...
Have Stephan graduate in December. And have a job not too long afterwards. He has his heart on getting a job in Washington state...
Re-learn how to sew
Become better at crocheting
Learn more about knitting
Learn more recipes
Make practicing my violin a habit
Not waste so much time on internet
Go to the temple at least once a month
Keep a cleaner house
Actually start saving some money...
Read more books
Attend more cultural events (preferably free ones)
Read scriptures on a more frequent basis
Go to bed at more reasonable hours
Eat healthier
Exercise more often
Possibly start trying for a baby...still under discussion.
Some of the things I want to do within the next year, and more.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Day 28: What's in my purse
Lucky for me, I reorganized it a few days ago.
cell phone
wallet
feminine protection (hey, it did ask...)
pen
keys
car insurance card
lip gloss
some receipts I need to throw away
grocery list that I also need to toss
There you go.
cell phone
wallet
feminine protection (hey, it did ask...)
pen
keys
car insurance card
lip gloss
some receipts I need to throw away
grocery list that I also need to toss
There you go.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Day 27: My Worst Habit
I asked Stephan what my worst habit is (because really, I have a lot of bad habits and it's hard to choose from), and he was very hesitant to tell me for fear of me being angry with him. I guess I can't blame him. He finally told me:
"Thinking people don't like you."
This is very true. Unfortunately.
You see, for a long time, I've basically decided that deep down, everyone who knows me must really hate me for some reason. I don't feel like I'm a likable person. In fact, I've been in therapy for this twice because I believe it is part of the cause of my depression and anxiety.
I believe the root cause of this is some childhood events. The beginning of them being detailed in this post, which I haven't provided a second part to. I will provide a second part here.
Because I was in Early Childhood (special ed for preschool aged kids) and required speech therapy, I came to my elementary school teachers with the label "special ed" and an account of my history. I had more or less become the poster child for the special education programs in the Katy ISD because I had defied the odds. Most of my teachers were fine, except for my second and fifth grade teachers.
And because I was speech delayed, I was behind in my social development, until I was in college actually. Needless to say, I was picked on a pretty fair bit for it. And in second and fifth grade, if I got into trouble with the teacher (even if I was innocent), my classmates would side against me. Some classmates would also pretend to be my best friend one day, and the next day, act like they never knew me.
Even among my friends, I always fear that one day they will suddenly decide they don't like me and pretend they never knew me. I even feel this way around family. To this day, I still think my husband's family must think he married a crazy woman and therefore not like me very much. I know this isn't true, but I can't seem to shake it. I always find a reason why someone must not like me, even if I am friends with them. It's hard for me to make friends because I wonder how in the heck they could like someone like me. This has resulted in me being somewhat high-maintenance.
Now you are probably wondering, "How did you ever get married then?" I've wondered that myself. It must have been a miracle.
I know some of you are asking, "You need some therapy, girl!" I've been in therapy for this. Twice. I can't seem to shake it, and I really want it gone. My paternal grandmother was a very paranoid woman, thinking everyone hated her, and I think it's what killed her. When she developed Alzheimer's, the only memories she had were of all the bad things people had done to her. I don't want that to happen to me.
Yes, this whole series is supposed to be lighthearted, and now I've killed it. But people have told me that they like my blog because of my honesty, and I want to uphold that. This is not one of those perky blogs that "Seriously, So Blessed" satirizes.
I hope that by writing this, I will find some healing. If anyone comments, I want them to be sincere. I don't want empty "I like you" comments. Just please, be sincere. I am not trying to make myself out to be a martyr and I am not looking for a pity party. I'm just showing you that yes folks, I am indeed human!
If you are genuinely my friend and are hurt by anything I say, please don't be. Just please continue being my friend, and know that I really am trying to overcome this.
If you made it to the end of this, I want to congratulate you. I hope I haven't put a damper on your day.
"Thinking people don't like you."
This is very true. Unfortunately.
You see, for a long time, I've basically decided that deep down, everyone who knows me must really hate me for some reason. I don't feel like I'm a likable person. In fact, I've been in therapy for this twice because I believe it is part of the cause of my depression and anxiety.
I believe the root cause of this is some childhood events. The beginning of them being detailed in this post, which I haven't provided a second part to. I will provide a second part here.
Because I was in Early Childhood (special ed for preschool aged kids) and required speech therapy, I came to my elementary school teachers with the label "special ed" and an account of my history. I had more or less become the poster child for the special education programs in the Katy ISD because I had defied the odds. Most of my teachers were fine, except for my second and fifth grade teachers.
And because I was speech delayed, I was behind in my social development, until I was in college actually. Needless to say, I was picked on a pretty fair bit for it. And in second and fifth grade, if I got into trouble with the teacher (even if I was innocent), my classmates would side against me. Some classmates would also pretend to be my best friend one day, and the next day, act like they never knew me.
Even among my friends, I always fear that one day they will suddenly decide they don't like me and pretend they never knew me. I even feel this way around family. To this day, I still think my husband's family must think he married a crazy woman and therefore not like me very much. I know this isn't true, but I can't seem to shake it. I always find a reason why someone must not like me, even if I am friends with them. It's hard for me to make friends because I wonder how in the heck they could like someone like me. This has resulted in me being somewhat high-maintenance.
Now you are probably wondering, "How did you ever get married then?" I've wondered that myself. It must have been a miracle.
I know some of you are asking, "You need some therapy, girl!" I've been in therapy for this. Twice. I can't seem to shake it, and I really want it gone. My paternal grandmother was a very paranoid woman, thinking everyone hated her, and I think it's what killed her. When she developed Alzheimer's, the only memories she had were of all the bad things people had done to her. I don't want that to happen to me.
Yes, this whole series is supposed to be lighthearted, and now I've killed it. But people have told me that they like my blog because of my honesty, and I want to uphold that. This is not one of those perky blogs that "Seriously, So Blessed" satirizes.
I hope that by writing this, I will find some healing. If anyone comments, I want them to be sincere. I don't want empty "I like you" comments. Just please, be sincere. I am not trying to make myself out to be a martyr and I am not looking for a pity party. I'm just showing you that yes folks, I am indeed human!
If you are genuinely my friend and are hurt by anything I say, please don't be. Just please continue being my friend, and know that I really am trying to overcome this.
If you made it to the end of this, I want to congratulate you. I hope I haven't put a damper on your day.
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