I know I've been promising an entry about dating for a while, but I didn't get around to it until now. There's a lot of pressure at BYU to get married before you graduate. I have nothing against marriage, in fact I would love to get married sometime in the hopefully not-too-distant future. But what leads to marriage? Dating! And I haven't done very much of it lately. I'm not too bitter, but I wouldn't mind getting asked out. I almost wonder if someone sprayed me with "guys don't come near me" repellent, and I'm wondering if that someone is my cousin who's on his mission...he told me not to get married while he was gone. I used to think it was my dad, but recently he's been asking me if I've met any nice guys recently, so I'm starting to think that he's getting worried about me. Thanks, Dad.
Anyway, no more rambling :)
Today, I went to a Healthy Relationships Conference at BYU, which is what inspires most of this post.
The first session I went to was called "On the Hunt". What the speaker basically said was to eliminate the "hunting" mentality from your dating philosophy because that's just asking for trouble. Why? Well, when you're "on the hunt", you tend to hide your true personality and objectify those you date as "prey". Not good. And you tend to rush things, become inconsiderate of the other person, etc. What the speaker emphasized was getting out and doing things you actually enjoy, rather than going along with someone to something you don't like just to meet potential dates.
I quite agree. I remember being frustrated in my inability to make friends with the guys in my freshman ward, and when I expressed this frustration to my floor-mates, they told me that I should try going to sporting events and "learning something" about sports because that's what guys like. Here's my problem: I don't like sports. I am not going to feign interest in sports just to get a guy's attention. Now, if my former floor-mates are reading this, I do not hold any grudge, I know you had good intentions.
There's another problem though: the things I do enjoy doing aren't likely to get me any dates anytime soon. I like going to classical music concerts, but most of the guys who go to concerts are there with dates. And concerts aren't the best venue for meeting people anyway, unless there's a reception of sorts, because there is not much opportunity to mingle because you are sitting and have to be quiet.
Another thing I enjoy doing is going to movies, but there is the same problem as with concerts. The guys who are there are usually on a date and there isn't an opportunity to mingle, unless you happen to meet that cute guy who happens to be dateless while waiting in line. It's been known to happen.
I also play violin in one of the non-audition orchestras up here. And I did casually date a guy whom I met in orchestra, but it wasn't going to work out for various reasons. He's still a friend though. I guess I could join another organization, but I don't have time with classes, studying, internship, and orchestra.
The other things I do enjoy are solitary activities (reading, writing, crocheting, practicing violin, Pilates, etc.) or "girlie" activities, so to speak. So, meeting members of the opposite sex with my interests is somewhat of a challenge for me. I almost wonder if I should become a lesbian (kidding!!!). I guess I also need to take some more initiative in my dating life....but I really don't like asking guys out...it makes me feel less female. There is someone I sort of have my eye on, and I thought he seemed interested....but I feel like I'm getting some mixed signals here.
I think I have posted enough, and I ought to get home. I'll write more later.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I'm bored at work, so I'm doing a survey. Sue me.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not really. My parents found out after I was born that they had accidentally named me after Laura Ingalls Wilder, whose birth name was Laura Elizabeth Ingalls.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? last night.
3.DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I need to work on it.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? no, not until I'm married.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yes.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? no, not really
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yeah...wanna see? Kidding!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I'd consider it.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? strawberry chex is my current favorite...mmmm.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? It depends. I don't wear lace-ups too often though.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? morally, I am. I've also discovered that I have a stronger stomach than originally thought. And I have a strong immune system...go me.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? rocky road
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? smile, hair
15. RED OR PINK? hmmmm....burgundy
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? least favorite...hmm. My tendency towards self-loathing. And my shyness.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my family
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black pants and black shoes
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? taco salad at the Pendulum court
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? hum of the computer and a techie talking
21. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I've never really thought of that.
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? good smells
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? left a message for a Mary Kay girl
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? gymnastics and ice skating (girlie, yes)
25. HAIR COLOR? brown
26. EYE COLOR? brown
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yes
28. FAVORITE FOOD? sushi
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings; I don't like scary movies
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I saw the old Parent Trap on TV
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? lavender v-neck with a black shirt underneath
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? spring
33. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs for now, since I haven't been kissed yet
34. FAVORITE DESSERT? Mom's oatmeal chocolate chip cookies; Mom's peanut butter cookies (with or without chocolate chips); Mom's cherry pie...get the picture?
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? re-reading Girls Gone Mild by Wendy Shalit...so good.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't have a mouse or a pad
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? nothing--my roommates hijacked the living room and I had orchestra.
38. FAVORITE SOUND? music
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? mmm...D.C.?
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? is violin special?
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Tokyo, Japan
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? last night.
3.DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I need to work on it.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? no, not until I'm married.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yes.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? no, not really
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yeah...wanna see? Kidding!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I'd consider it.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? strawberry chex is my current favorite...mmmm.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? It depends. I don't wear lace-ups too often though.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? morally, I am. I've also discovered that I have a stronger stomach than originally thought. And I have a strong immune system...go me.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? rocky road
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? smile, hair
15. RED OR PINK? hmmmm....burgundy
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? least favorite...hmm. My tendency towards self-loathing. And my shyness.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my family
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black pants and black shoes
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? taco salad at the Pendulum court
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? hum of the computer and a techie talking
21. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I've never really thought of that.
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? good smells
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? left a message for a Mary Kay girl
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? gymnastics and ice skating (girlie, yes)
25. HAIR COLOR? brown
26. EYE COLOR? brown
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yes
28. FAVORITE FOOD? sushi
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings; I don't like scary movies
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I saw the old Parent Trap on TV
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? lavender v-neck with a black shirt underneath
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? spring
33. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs for now, since I haven't been kissed yet
34. FAVORITE DESSERT? Mom's oatmeal chocolate chip cookies; Mom's peanut butter cookies (with or without chocolate chips); Mom's cherry pie...get the picture?
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? re-reading Girls Gone Mild by Wendy Shalit...so good.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't have a mouse or a pad
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? nothing--my roommates hijacked the living room and I had orchestra.
38. FAVORITE SOUND? music
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? mmm...D.C.?
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? is violin special?
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Tokyo, Japan
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My religion
My religion is a large part of my identity--all my friends know I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, well, they know I'm Mormon. What do you know about my faith, if you aren't part of it? Besides the fact I go to a Church school My friends know that I don't drink alcohol or coffee or tea; I don't smoke; I don't do drugs; I'm against gay marriage; I'm against abortion; and I am pro-abstinence. Some of them also know about how I went to seminary and how I go to church for three hours every Sunday.
So, why do I like being Mormon?
Well...
(1) I like that I can be with my family forever because my parents were married in the temple. I plan on keeping myself worthy to attend the temple so that I can be married to my future husband forever.
(2) I like being sober, not that I have any experience otherwise. But I've heard enough drunk and stoned stories that will keep me sober for life.
(3) I like having an unpaid ministry.
(4) I like that we don't baptize infants. The age of accountability is eight, which is when I was baptized.
(5) I like that any worthy man can hold the Priesthood, not just one leader who has been trained and is paid to exercise authority.
(6) I like Relief Society. It is the largest and oldest women's organization in the world.
(7) I like that wherever I go, the Church will always be true.
(8) I like that we can do ordinance work for our ancestors, who died before the Church was restored.
(9) Unlike the current Presidential election, the transition of leadership from President Hinckley (after his passing) to President Monson was very smooth and without conflict.
There are many other things I like about being Mormon, but I can't think of all of them right now. Some people think that with all our rules, we live a restricted life. I disagree. Why? Well, since I don't drink, I am less likely to die in a car accident and I am less likely to be a victim of date rape. My chances of getting lung cancer are very low, since I don't smoke. I intend to remain a virgin until I am married, thus decreasing my chances of getting pregnant out of wedlock and/or getting STDs.
Just my thoughts :)
If you want to learn more:
http://www.lds.org
http://www.mormon.org
Check it out.
So, why do I like being Mormon?
Well...
(1) I like that I can be with my family forever because my parents were married in the temple. I plan on keeping myself worthy to attend the temple so that I can be married to my future husband forever.
(2) I like being sober, not that I have any experience otherwise. But I've heard enough drunk and stoned stories that will keep me sober for life.
(3) I like having an unpaid ministry.
(4) I like that we don't baptize infants. The age of accountability is eight, which is when I was baptized.
(5) I like that any worthy man can hold the Priesthood, not just one leader who has been trained and is paid to exercise authority.
(6) I like Relief Society. It is the largest and oldest women's organization in the world.
(7) I like that wherever I go, the Church will always be true.
(8) I like that we can do ordinance work for our ancestors, who died before the Church was restored.
(9) Unlike the current Presidential election, the transition of leadership from President Hinckley (after his passing) to President Monson was very smooth and without conflict.
There are many other things I like about being Mormon, but I can't think of all of them right now. Some people think that with all our rules, we live a restricted life. I disagree. Why? Well, since I don't drink, I am less likely to die in a car accident and I am less likely to be a victim of date rape. My chances of getting lung cancer are very low, since I don't smoke. I intend to remain a virgin until I am married, thus decreasing my chances of getting pregnant out of wedlock and/or getting STDs.
Just my thoughts :)
If you want to learn more:
http://www.lds.org
http://www.mormon.org
Check it out.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
dang, I should write more often
Hi all who actually read this. I apologize for the delay. Life has been so busy and I hardly have time to write here. You see, my internet stinks at my apartment, so my only chance of getting on the internet is when I come to campus. And when I'm on campus, I am either in class, studying in the library, or at my internship. That's where I am right now, heh heh.
But life is good. I've been going to concerts on campus lately, partly because I'm in a music class and I need to. However, I have discovered that I really do love going to classical music concerts! For the last several years, I've been going to my mom's concerts on her comp tickets, and I did like the concerts. I just didn't realize how much I really do enjoy it!
One of my new year's resolutions, if you will, was to learn how to enjoy spending time with myself. You see, many of us humans are under the assumption that in order to truly enjoy life is to have lots of friends and an active social life. These are nice, but what happens when you are alone? If you base your happiness on having lots of friends, then chances are, you hate being alone. Who do you have to live with 24/7? You!
I don't have a ton of friends and I don't get invited to many things. This used to bug me immensely, but I decided that I don't have to wait for someone to invite me to do something I don't particularly enjoy. I can have fun on my own, doing something I truly enjoy.
Now don't think I'm abandoning friendship. I love my friends and I do enjoy spending time with them. I just think people need to learn how to have fun on their own and not depend on other people for their happiness. I haven't given up on dating, even though I rarely get asked out. I'm starting to wonder if I should start taking matters into my own hands. But that's another entry for another day.
But life is good. I've been going to concerts on campus lately, partly because I'm in a music class and I need to. However, I have discovered that I really do love going to classical music concerts! For the last several years, I've been going to my mom's concerts on her comp tickets, and I did like the concerts. I just didn't realize how much I really do enjoy it!
One of my new year's resolutions, if you will, was to learn how to enjoy spending time with myself. You see, many of us humans are under the assumption that in order to truly enjoy life is to have lots of friends and an active social life. These are nice, but what happens when you are alone? If you base your happiness on having lots of friends, then chances are, you hate being alone. Who do you have to live with 24/7? You!
I don't have a ton of friends and I don't get invited to many things. This used to bug me immensely, but I decided that I don't have to wait for someone to invite me to do something I don't particularly enjoy. I can have fun on my own, doing something I truly enjoy.
Now don't think I'm abandoning friendship. I love my friends and I do enjoy spending time with them. I just think people need to learn how to have fun on their own and not depend on other people for their happiness. I haven't given up on dating, even though I rarely get asked out. I'm starting to wonder if I should start taking matters into my own hands. But that's another entry for another day.
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