my post about dating (you were waiting for this, right?)

I know I've been promising an entry about dating for a while, but I didn't get around to it until now. There's a lot of pressure at BYU to get married before you graduate. I have nothing against marriage, in fact I would love to get married sometime in the hopefully not-too-distant future. But what leads to marriage? Dating! And I haven't done very much of it lately. I'm not too bitter, but I wouldn't mind getting asked out. I almost wonder if someone sprayed me with "guys don't come near me" repellent, and I'm wondering if that someone is my cousin who's on his mission...he told me not to get married while he was gone. I used to think it was my dad, but recently he's been asking me if I've met any nice guys recently, so I'm starting to think that he's getting worried about me. Thanks, Dad.

Anyway, no more rambling :)

Today, I went to a Healthy Relationships Conference at BYU, which is what inspires most of this post.

The first session I went to was called "On the Hunt". What the speaker basically said was to eliminate the "hunting" mentality from your dating philosophy because that's just asking for trouble. Why? Well, when you're "on the hunt", you tend to hide your true personality and objectify those you date as "prey". Not good. And you tend to rush things, become inconsiderate of the other person, etc. What the speaker emphasized was getting out and doing things you actually enjoy, rather than going along with someone to something you don't like just to meet potential dates.

I quite agree. I remember being frustrated in my inability to make friends with the guys in my freshman ward, and when I expressed this frustration to my floor-mates, they told me that I should try going to sporting events and "learning something" about sports because that's what guys like. Here's my problem: I don't like sports. I am not going to feign interest in sports just to get a guy's attention. Now, if my former floor-mates are reading this, I do not hold any grudge, I know you had good intentions.

There's another problem though: the things I do enjoy doing aren't likely to get me any dates anytime soon. I like going to classical music concerts, but most of the guys who go to concerts are there with dates. And concerts aren't the best venue for meeting people anyway, unless there's a reception of sorts, because there is not much opportunity to mingle because you are sitting and have to be quiet.

Another thing I enjoy doing is going to movies, but there is the same problem as with concerts. The guys who are there are usually on a date and there isn't an opportunity to mingle, unless you happen to meet that cute guy who happens to be dateless while waiting in line. It's been known to happen.

I also play violin in one of the non-audition orchestras up here. And I did casually date a guy whom I met in orchestra, but it wasn't going to work out for various reasons. He's still a friend though. I guess I could join another organization, but I don't have time with classes, studying, internship, and orchestra.

The other things I do enjoy are solitary activities (reading, writing, crocheting, practicing violin, Pilates, etc.) or "girlie" activities, so to speak. So, meeting members of the opposite sex with my interests is somewhat of a challenge for me. I almost wonder if I should become a lesbian (kidding!!!). I guess I also need to take some more initiative in my dating life....but I really don't like asking guys out...it makes me feel less female. There is someone I sort of have my eye on, and I thought he seemed interested....but I feel like I'm getting some mixed signals here.

I think I have posted enough, and I ought to get home. I'll write more later.